On a snowy November day, Lana Cullis from Powell River, B.C., and her daughter Kit were dividing tree ornaments. Kit, now living independently, wanted to decorate her own Christmas tree. Unpacking the decorations brought back memories of loss and grief for Lana, stemming from the absence of children no longer with them during the holidays.
Their family had expanded and contracted over eight years, fostering 23 children. Many placements were temporary, and their two children were adopted while still fostering. Lana was surprised that Kit remembered the stories behind each homemade ornament, even from makers she had never met. Their holiday memories differed significantly.
One ornament, a tree topper from Lana’s first Christmas with her husband, held sentimental value. Despite being held together by Krazy Glue due to a crack, Lana passed it to Kit, who eagerly accepted it. Another ornament, a Santa sleigh and reindeer combo made by an eight-year-old foster child, evoked a mix of emotions in Lana, knowing they had lost contact with the child after a court ruling.
Lana’s family had a tradition of inclusivity during the holidays for foster children, adjusting their Christmas dinner schedule so the children could spend time with their families on key days. They also gifted each child unique ornaments to decorate the tree or keep as a memento. This tradition led to the Santa and reindeer ornament crafted by their foster son becoming a cherished decoration.
Among the ornaments was a reindeer made of pompoms, affectionately called “Big Balls” by Lana’s son. Lana recalled a similar experience of dividing ornaments with her ex-husband two decades ago, ensuring fairness for all children. Kit expressed her fondness for the ornaments, reflecting on the consistency of Rudolph being on the tree each Christmas, regardless of where they celebrated.
As they decorated the tree this year, Lana anticipated a different experience, with Kit’s joyful perspective overshadowing any lingering sadness attached to the ornaments. She looked forward to seeing Kit’s tree and the new memories they would create together.